De-Gnoming

[Jay Rastan]

Jay looked very much the proverbial fish out of water, his mouth opened and closed and he seemed to be floundering while looking for the correct words to answer Lady Saphricorn without digging himself into a bigger hole, even if he didn’t understand how he managed to get in the whole in the first place. He personally didn’t know who looked like they were going to blow a gasket first out of his house of head or Elouise. Over what, Jay couldn’t say, he had done a good thing. Lady Saphricorn’s voice wasn’t projecting well enough over the normal noise of early morning and Mariana would miss out on the instructions and given how nasty the little creatures looked, he wasn’t willing to send her to the front line unprepared.

The creatures looked like they would eat you alive the moment you turned your back. Nasty little buggers.

“You know I don’t think bring heaps of attention to Mariana’s problem hearing is very nice” Jay said, putting his arm over her shoulders and giving them a squeeze, hoping she would take it as the supportive gesture he meant it as. “But since you asked, when I was younger I asked my mother and father why they raised their voices when this muggle woman approached us asking for directions when we visiting in Sydney. They explained to me when we got home to the manor that in one of the many ways that muggles are at a disadvantage than wizards is that they have very poor hearing. Practically deaf, father said.”

Jay took a deep breath after saying it all in a hurry before continuing on with his explanation not that he understood why he had to. He hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Then my parents explained that half bloods and muggleborns are hard on hearing not as much as muggles though. You only need to raise yoru voice slightly were you almost need to holler at muggles and even then they look at you weird, like you’re the one who can’t hear what’s being said.”

Flicking his wand, he summoned a pair of gloves for Mariana.

“Here, those little fellows could do lots of damage if you’re not careful” Jay said, giving her a grin and removed his arm from around her shoulders were he had left it without noticing.

[Elouise Sullivan]

’You have got to be kidding me,’ Elouise thought as she looked at everything unfolding and thought it was all so ridiculous it could not possibly be true… but if it was… how many years had he gone along with this mistake, and he looked so sure of his conviction it could not possibly be a joke, though Saphricorn’s were good at their jokes. Elouise still didn’t say anything though. Not because she was angry, or that she wanted to hurt him, which she quickly got over seeing his current behaviour. No, her reason for being so silent now was because, for all intensive purposes, she was utterly dumbfounded. She could not believe her ears or her eyes, wasn’t she, just that morning, defending Saphricorn intelligence to a bunch of Ruberagon’s who were talking about them behind their backs?

She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again, not really knowing where to go from here.

The wind that whistled through the space between the confused students and the Saphricorn head teacher was a light one, but still the silence endured. Elouise looked from Jay and Professor Saphricorn to Mariana; how would all of this make her feel?

[Mariana Torrenne]

Mariana stood there looking at Jay Rastan then at the teacher and the reaction of the rest of the class and the silence that infused the entire situation was extremely uncomfortable. Mariana of course thought the whole thing was hilarious. She burst into laughter when she heard Jay Rastan’s explanation, it was all so clear now. She had thought there was something wrong with him… and perhaps there was, but this was not it. She started laughing and continued while she choked for breath not able to speak. This was all too funny for words.

While she proceeded to laugh she moved towards the wall of the castle and leaned on it with one hand. If things were any funnier she knew she would be catatonic. How funny was it that someone had told him that muggle borns could not hear as well as others, as if they were deaf or something, it was hilarious if not to say totally ridiculous.

“That’s so funny….” She choked through her words as tears started to come out of her eyes. How could he think… surely she wasn’t the first muggle born he had never met… what a laugh.

She squeaked as she continued to laugh, she didn’t know how she managed to laugh so long without choking, all the same she was enjoying it too much to stop.

She slid down the wall still laughing, clutching her stomach as she looked through teary eyes at the Emerindyl that looked almost as if she might pounce on Jay. How could they not find it as funny as she did. It could not possibly be an insult. He was in Saphricorn; incapable of insulting people, especially over something like the purity of her magical blood.

She let out a particular loud stream of laughter as she doubled over clutching her stomach. This could not be anymore comical if Dick Van Dyke himself walked in and tripped over a footstool. She laughed still, unable to stop. This was too funny, so funny, so incredibly funny, and to see how many people took it seriously. That only made her laugh louder.

[Jay Rastan]

Jay didn’t know which emotion he felt that would be the first he showed, relieved that Mariana wasn’t mad at him, affronted that she was laughing at him or even more confused as to why she was laughing. Her hearing problem wasn’t a joking matter, or at least Jay didn’t think it was.

Of course, as most teenage males, being laughed at by a girl, any girl wasn’t really a boost for the ego. While Jay may have been graced with a certain eloquence when in the presence of the opposite gender and had a certain level of charm, he wasn’t immune to the ego deflating laugh. Not only was it a laugh it had periodic squeaks thrown into it. And while he wanted to smile cause he thought it was kind of adorable the way she found his truth so funny, it really was quite insulting.

Walking over to where she had eventually slid down the wall, he threw the gloves down on ground next to her, not looking at her but more at his feet. He didn’t need her to see the blush that had bloomed in his cheeks form the embarrassment of her laughing at him. He didn’t say anything to her but all the same walked over to where the others had stood, including Lady Saphricorn.

“Can we just get on with the De-gnoming now, Lady Saphricorn?” Jay mumbled out his words, tucking his gloves into his back jeans pocket and folding his arms over his chest, looking quite standoffish. Jay now just wanted to himself, and his bruised ego, as far away from this group and the gardens as possible, and there were two ways of doing that, getting the work over and done with or to go storming off. He wouldn’t do such a thing with his head of house in the vicinity anyway. That and would probably further damage his manly ego.

But in all his relief and being affronted, Jay was quite confused. Maybe this was all some giant joke and people were going to jump out behind bushes and yell something like ‘got you’ like they did on some muggle television show he had observed over his summer break. That’s what this had to be. There was no possible reason his parents would give him false information, but with the way everyone was looking at him, or in Mariana’s case, reacted to his explanation, he had to wonder if perhaps he had missed something. Like a universal truth that everyone, except himself knew.

All he knew was what he had been told and observed and every time he had spoken to someone of not pureblood decent they had always yelled at him when his voice naturally rose ever so slightly so they could hear him. If they could hear just fine, why didn’t they tell him not to raise his voice, or why did they yell at him? It just did make sense to Jay and it was doing his head in.

[Elouise Sullivan]

Elouise was glad to see that Mariana thought it was funny for if it was her he had been yelling at, and she that he had insulted, she would have done a lot more then laugh at him, she might have cursed him. Though she was a pure blood and so didn’t understand their logic. Mariana thought it was funny and so Elouise supposed this was good enough for her.

When Jay looked to be insulted by her laughter, Elouise fully understood just how much he believed in what he had said. Someone had lied to him, it was an outright lie, it had to be, no one else would think something so preposterous. He must really hold a lot of stake in what these people said. The whole thing was actually quite funny and she would have joined in laughing except that she didn’t want to provoke him anymore then he might already be.

“Come now, Jay, don’t let it get you down,” she smiled when she saw him pouting. She actually thought that in his little pouting posture he was actually pretty cute, but what was more adorable was his reaction in general. Like a toddler he seemed to be having a tantrum and Elouise just wanted to put her arms around him and tell him all was ok.

Elouise looked at Mariana who was almost completely catatonic as it was. She could help but let out a couple of bursts of laughter here and there. Surely Professor Saphricorn would understand how laughter was contagious, she actually wondered if Professor Saphricorn might also laugh, or if she understood that Jay might be hurt.

All the same, Elouise ensured her gloves were securely on her hands when she waited for something to happen. This was all so funny that Elouise for one, was quite happy that she had volunteered for today’s exercise.

[Jay Rastan]

Jay looked at Elouise as she told him to not let it get to him. He would have loved for it not to get to him, and he knew he probably looked like a child in the toy store who didn’t get exactly which toy he wanted but he couldn’t help it, he was nursing a very bruised ego after all.

And if a guy didn’t have his ego, well…what did he have?

“I know, Elouise. I know.” Jay said with a sigh, but giving her a little grin as he looked down at her after it. He couldn’t help but feel tall next to her, although, he felt tall next to most people but especially females. Straightening his shoulders, and lifting his head trying to restore his precious ego one fragile bit at a time, he was glad that Elouise didn’t look like she wanted to skin him alive, not that he understood why she had given him such a contemptuous look in the first place, but while he wasn’t getting looked at like that, he didn’t mind being in the Emerindyl girl’s presence, all the while trying to ignore the occasional laugh that was coming from his fellow housemate at his own expense.

“I swear after this I’m going back to bed to sleep for the rest of the day. Tomorrow will surely be better right? Can’t be much worse. And it’s still only early morning!” Jay said, trying to make the situation seem light after it had suddenly took such a heavier feeling. “Never know if the girl of today’s dreams might stumble into tomorrow’s reality!”

Jay knew he had just put is foot in it by rambling, he just wanted to ease and left over tension that had hung over from events and comments of moments ago. Although, he knew he would have to ask his parents as to why everyone had acted the way they had this morning.

“So…Gnomes, ey?”

To say Jay was feeling incredibly awkward would be the understatement of the year. So he did what he best in such situations, looked at his feet and rocked back and forwards slightly on his heel. Jay was good friends with embarrassment.

They spoke daily.

[Mariana Torrenne]

Mariana was able to contain herself after a little bit, though her cheeks would forever be stained with the tears of her laughter, she knew that much. But now that she looked upon Jay whom was looking a little hurt. She felt it might be time to stop, though the look on his face (while cute) made her want to laugh even more.

She smiled at him as she made her way to her feet most unceremoniously, almost as if she were drunk on laughter.

“That was the most I have laughed in months,” she smiled as she walked to Jay’s side and put her hand on his shoulder just to let him know things were ok. She didn’t mind that he thought she was hard of hearing. He could not have meant anything by it; he didn’t seem the type. She had always thought something was odd about him, and realised that in a way it was her fault that his belief that she was hard of hearing had not been quashed a long time ago. She had never told him to stop shouting at her, she had always taken in, and with the straightest face possible she would just shout back at him; se had thought it something of a wonderful game.

Now that she looked at him, she understood how much it troubled him and realised she had more been the part of some giant joke played on him that she could quite easily have put an end to before it had become a public display. In her defence though, she knew that most Saphricorn’s were loud by nature. So while it seemed… odd; it was still; in a way; perfectly normal.

“Don’t go back to bed,” she smiled at him, her eyes were showing a great deal of compassion now and she didn’t want him to be too hurt by her laughter. She hadn’t meant to upset him by it; she just thought it was really very funny. “Don’t go back to bed, there is a whole day ahead of us to enjoy life, and you have so given me a fantastic start to the day,”

Her grandmother had always told her the best gift in the world was the gift of laughter. And Jay had certainly given her the best gift of laughter she had been given in a very long time.

“But yes, as you say, Gnomes” she smiled and looked at Professor Saphricorn, gauging her feelings on the matter of gnomes, wondering even after all the laughter; whether they had not been scared off and whether their little de-gnoming expedition might now be pointless.

[Lady Sylvia Saphricorn]

Lady Saphricorn had watched the situation which had started out with a thick tension had simmered down completely. While she was more than a little confused as to why any parent, regardless of their blood purity, would tell their child such a blatant bald faced lie and let it carry into their adulthood. She had a feeling if this hadn’t come to ahead today then indeed Jay Rastan would have lived on in his ignorance of such a mistake. The boy would have to question it now wouldn’t he? Since having seen the mixed reaction it had drawn…surely…

Before she had the chance to respond to the boy’s request to move on, after the unquestionable embarrassment that would happen to anyone if a member of opposite gender laughed in their face, the situation had taken another turn. Sylvia Saphricorn looked at the interaction between her two students, the corners of her lips curling up in a soft smile. It as always interesting to watch teenagers dance about feelings especially when one, or as it seemed in this situation, both of the participants seemed oblivious to any feelings. She couldn’t help but smile knowingly, as if she knew some secret that they would all learn in time.

The romantic inside of her sighed at the whole idea of it all, while the level headed woman reminded her of how fickle youth are about feelings. Shaking herself from it all and decided to get on with the task they had originally set out to complete today. Although she inwardly patted herself on the back for not laughing at the whole situation, the funny side of it, and she would leave it to Mariana to explain to Jay just how wrong he was on the stance of muggleborns and muggles and their hearing capabilities.

“Okay, well as we can see, after the events of minutes ago” At this she shot her two Saphricorn’s an almost convert smile, “some of the gnomes have voluntarily removed themselves and have relocated. Never mind I’m sure they shall return for the next de-gnoming. Now if you watch carefully…”

Walking over and crouching down next to one of the gnomes, and putting her gloves in as the gnome finally seemed to realised just what all these gathered people and gloves meant, it started to thrash it’s stubby little arms about and lunged teeth first, only to be jerked back by its planted feet.

“Make sure you have your gloves on please before any attempts. So now we move the spoil away from the legs a little, so you can get a firm handle then yank them out like so” Lady Saphricorn, did as such somehow making de-gnoming look elegant in the one wrist movement to remove the creature from the earth. “Make sure you do it gently, we wish to do them not harm, and also remember to hold them away from your person to avoid being in swinging distance. Hold them upside down so they cannot sink their teeth into your hand”

The little creature was sputtering what sounded like sounds of indignity at behind help upside down in front of an audience, all the while failing about trying to strike out at the Saphricorn house founder, who for her part just smiled indulgently at the creature. While she pulled out her wand with her spare hand, at this the gnome started to fail more fiercely and making gurgling sounds while staring wide eyed at the lady holding it and the wand in her hand.

“Seems like the little fellow figured it out, doesn’t it? Now turn towards the west wall, and aim above the edge, and use expulsion charm...” Lady Saphricorn did the wand movements and the gnome went soaring over the student’s heads and cleared the top of the wall by feet. “And that’s how you have it. Now too much power behind the charm please, we wish to be rid of their presence not to harm them. Any questions? No. Alright, seems like there is about three gnomes left each, so lets make quick work of it so we can all enjoy the rest of the day Saturday.”

Lady Saphricorn let the students to get their gloves and organise themselves to find their three gnomes, as she moved on to her next all the while humming a nameless tune.

[Elouise Sullivan]

Elouise was still trying not to laugh when Lady Saphricorn took centre stage again. Elouise moved away from Jay just a little so that she could get a better view of the way de-gnoming was done properly. She had been most curious as to how they were going to launch them over the great walls that protected the school from that which as beyond its dwelling. She watched as the Professor cursed it over the wall and smiled. She did not wish them harm, certainly not, but she also did not wish them to ruin the beautiful gardens of the school. After all that was why any of them were there after all.

She looked at Jay one last time to make sure he was ok, and felt a pang of something… something interesting, a feeling she didn’t expect.

She smiled though, it looked as if Mariana and Jay perhaps had something else between them and she could not be happier for them. ’Gnomes Elouise, you can play match maker later,’ she thought to herself as she turned to look away from Jay and Mariana and looked for her first gnome. Her gloves were securely on and she made a move for one of the Gnomes. It scuttled away so fast that she came very close to falling flat on her face.

“Not this time, no ever,” she said to herself as if she was chiding the little gnome. She knew she could not blame it for wanting to get away, especially after what she saw Professor Saphricorn do to the first one, “Accior’” she flicked her wand knowing this would work only because the gnome was not of a substantial size. She grasped it tightly around the belly while it smacked and kicked her.

She watched it while it started gnashing its teeth, its mouth could not reach her hand, but she suddenly decided that while it was an ugly little potato headed man, it was also a little scary looing. Had it been larger, it would have been vastly more frightening.

She grabbed its feet with her other hand dusting it off so that she could get a good grip. She heard the gnome giggling madly and knew that it must be ticklish. When she was done though she gripped it in her hand and pointed at it with her wand, aiming it to0 get over the wall. At this point its giggling stopped and its teeth started gnashing together threateningly again.

“I don’t think so,” she said to it before performing the expelling curse and watched it sore up and over the wall screaming a raucous little scream as it went, “Good bye,” she said to it before turning and grabbing yet another, this time she was a little more efficient about it, and after she had expelled it over the roof, she had gone hunting for a third.

[Jay Rastan]

Being more than ready to move on with his day and do something, or perhaps nothing sounded even better, Jay watched Elouise with a close eye as she got rid of one of her house elves, and he tried not to chuckle at how she handled the little bugger trying to bite her. Not that the imagine was particularly full, but Jay realized she would have to be one of the few members of the opposite gender who wouldn’t shriek like a banshee and run away from something that size with sharp pointy teeth. It was quite refreshing to see, or so he thought.

Jay moved away from Mariana and spotted three gnomes together trying to pull themselves from the ground in an attempt to pull each other from the ground in order to make a run for it.

“I think not, little ones” Jay said, chuckling as they looked up at him and started to put their hands out in a placating gesture as if to starve him off as his shadow engulfed them. “So which one of you wants to be first?”

As if understanding what he had asked them they all started to furiously gesture towards each other, making squeaky noises all looking at him wide eyed. “Since we have no volunteers I’ll go from left to right then. Wingardium Leviosa”

Jay then flicked his wand and the gnome when flying over the wall safely all the while making a high pitched squealing noise just like Elouise’s gnome had but slightly more high pitched, to which Jay had to wonder if it mean it was scared of the flying sensation or enjoying it.

After sending off his final gnome in the same manner, Jay looked around at the rest of the students gathered to gage their progress with the gnomes, figuring he was one of the first to finish, took of his gloves and banished them back to his room, and put its wand in its holster, before rocking back and forwards waiting for further instruction or dismissal form his house founder.